Blizzard Man w/Common

huh

670 NES Games

all being sold on ebay

Bill Gates on the Daily Show

FACECAST NEWS 1/29/07

Sea monster

Caddyshack in 10 seconds

Pregnant Dolphin's Ultrasound

Transvision Vamp - I Want Your Love

Milla Jovovich - Gentleman Who Fell

this song sucks

Debbie Gibson - Lost In Your Eyes

Jason McElwain Autistic Basketball Player

Be My Neighbor

In 1969 the US Senate had a hearing on funding the newly developed Corporation for Public Broadcasting. The proposed endowment was $20 million, but President Nixon wanted it cut in half because of the spending going on in the Vietnam War. This is an video clip of the exchange between Mr. Rogers and Senator Pastore, head of the hearing. Senator Pastore starts out very abrasive and by the time Mr. Rogers is done talking, Senator Pastore’s inner child has heard Mr. Rogers and agreed with him.

Beavis And Butt-Head Watch Rick Derringer with Hulk Hogan

Space Jam Theme

rock aliens

Cooking with Chemistry and Martial Arts

Hershey's Chocolate Commercial 1984

1980's Honeycomb Cereal Commercial

Child World Video Catalog Part 1

Bride Has Massive Hair Wig Out

Superted Full Episode Crystall Ball

eric is bananaman

Shonuff, The Shogun of Harlem

your helmet is so big

Let me borrow that top

Boys Beware

Another classic Classroom Propaganda film from the mind of Sid Davis. This heavy handed film warns kids about the dangers of homosexuals by making them think that they are sick in the mind.

10 cents

WARWICK, R.I. - Class, from now on there will be no talking at lunch.

A Roman Catholic elementary school adopted new lunchroom rules this week requiring students to remain silent while eating. The move comes after three recent choking incidents in the cafeteria.

No one was hurt, but the principal of St. Rose of Lima School explained in a letter to parents that if the lunchroom is loud, staff members cannot hear a child choking.

Christine Lamoureux, whose 12-year-old is a sixth-grader at the school, said she respects the safety issue but thinks the rule is a bad idea.

"They are silent all day," she said. "They have to get some type of release." She suggested quiet conversation be allowed during lunch.

Another mother, Thina Paone, does not mind the silent lunches, noting that the cafeteria "can be very crazy" at the suburban school south of Providence.

Principal Jeannine Fuller did not immediately return a call seeking comment, but a spokesman for the Diocese of Providence described the silence rule as a temporary safety measure.

Spokesman Michael Guilfoyle said the school does not expect complete silence but enough quiet to keep students safe.

Lori Healey, a teacher at the school who also has a son in third grade, said "silent lunch" means students can whisper.

"They know it's not for punishment," she said. "It's for safety, and they'll be the first ones to tell you."

Stacey Wildenhain, a teacher's assistant at St. Rose, said her 7-year-old son does not mind the policy. He told her: "The sooner we eat, the sooner we can get out to play," she said.

Amanda Karhuse, of the National Association of Secondary School Principals, said that students should not run wild during lunch, but that they also should not have to remain silent.

"It seems kind of ridiculous in our opinion," she said. "Kids need that social time, and they just need time to be kids at that age."

The principal's letter also spelled out other new lunch rules, including requiring students to stay in their seats and limiting them to one trip to the trash can. Any child who breaks the rules will serve detention the next day.

Paone's 6-year-old son, Joey, said he accepts the changes, but some of his classmates were having trouble obeying the rules.

Kara Casali, who also has a 6-year-old son at the school, said the rules against talking will be tough to enforce.

"I can't imagine having a silent lunch," she said.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070125/ap_on_re_us/silent_lunch

Frank Zappa - King Kong (1968)

Crazy Train Solo

Kitty Washing Machine

Van Halen - Eruption

Stevie Ray Vaughan, BB King, Albert Collins

1988

The Slapping Bow Tie And The Alloy Visual

Billy The Bouncing Ball

Death Hat

Limbo, The Organized Mind

Jam - Tree

Over the Hiccups

Eating a Cactus in Tijuana

Adventures of Mark Twain

1985

Vladimir Ristic (Veber Veber)

the super inframan

Flea Market Montgomery - Long Version

Donny Osmond - Ushi Interview (Part 1).

juggalo party

Pickle Surprise

Cable Access 9/11 Tribute

Furry Rave

Physics

Silly Job Interview - Monty Python

Spit Art

Flash animations fighting back

Shark

The year is 1978. A team of 12 year olds have decided to make a Super8 film of their own based on Jaws.

Frilled Shark

MOTHER FUCKING DINOSAUR

Indian Superman Part 2

The Bible Says

pimpin' ain't easy

EMERGENCY SURGERY

Funny Scares

crazy fucking cop

what the christ

Worst Fire Safety Demo Ever

cop tazers dog, hilarity

Japanese German Schoolgirl Suplex

New Orleans drunk Kung-Fu's cops

Food Network Subliminal Advertising?

oh, canada

NEW WESTMINSTER, British Columbia (Reuters) - Accused serial killer Robert "Willie" Pickton butchered his victims after death, and evidence will include heads that have been cut in half and other severed bones, prosecutors told a Canadian court on Monday.

"He murdered them, butchered their remains and disposed of them," prosecutor Derrill Prevett told the court in New Westminster, British Columbia, in his first glimpse of horror-film like evidence that prosecutors say will prove Pickton to be Canada's deadliest serial killer.

The actual number of murders will probably be higher than that, since the DNA of at least 31 missing women was found at the guy's farm. I personally can't wait for the CrimeLibrary article on the guy.

Breaking News: Weed Makes You Listen to Indie Rock

Pitchfork staff admits to not actually liking Sufjan, just being really, really high

According to the Office of National Drug Control Policy and the Partnership for a Drug-Free America, smoking the wacky tabacky turns you into a poseur. Even worse: an indie rock poseur. Just listen to it. And then just try to tell me it doesn't make you want to put down the bong and start listening to rap music.

Full transcript below.

FEMALE VOICE: (Computer voice) Being popular was all I could think about last year. I wanted to, like, be cool with everybody. I listened to music that I didn't like and laughed at stuff that wasn't funny. I programmed myself to be a totally different person to everyone.

Computer voice starts to change into a real human voice.

FEMALE VOICE: But I wasn't myself. Now I'm not pretending to like indie rock or anything like that. And people think that's cool.

MALE VOICE: Live above the influence. Above weed. Check out abovetheinfluence.com. Sponsored by the ONDCP and the Partnership For A Drug-FreeAmerica.


http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/news/39435/Breaking_News_Weed_Makes_You_Listen_to_Indie_Rock

Dragonball: The Magic Begins

Obstacle Courses

Unsane - Scrape

jump!

Unplanned Freefall? Some Survival Tips

By David Carkeet

Admit it: You want to be the sole survivor of an airline disaster. You aren't looking for a disaster to happen, but if it does, you see yourself coming through it. I'm here to tell you that you're not out of touch with reality—you can do it. Sure, you'll take a few hits, and I'm not saying there won't be some sweaty flashbacks later on, but you'll make it. You'll sit up in your hospital bed and meet the press. Refreshingly, you will keep God out of your public comments, knowing that it's unfair to sing His praises when all of your dead fellow-passengers have no platform from which to offer an alternative view.

Let's say your jet blows apart at 35,000 feet. You exit the aircraft, and you begin to descend independently. Now what?

First of all, you're starting off a full mile higher than Everest, so after a few gulps of disappointing air you're going to black out. This is not a bad thing. If you have ever tried to keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, you know what I mean. This brief respite from the ambient fear and chaos will come to an end when you wake up at about 15,000 feet. Here begins the final phase of your descent, which will last about a minute. It is a time of planning and preparation. Look around you. What equipment is available? None? Are you sure? Look carefully. Perhaps a shipment of folded parachutes was in the cargo hold, and the blast opened the box and scattered them. One of these just might be within reach. Grab it, put it on, and hit the silk. You're sitting pretty.

Other items can be helpful as well. Let nature be your guide. See how yon maple seed gently wafts to earth on gossamer wings. Look around for a proportionate personal vehicle—some large, flat, aerodynamically suitable piece of wreckage. Mount it and ride, cowboy! Remember: molecules are your friends. You want a bunch of surface-area molecules hitting a bunch of atmospheric molecules in order to reduce your rate of acceleration.

As you fall, you're going to realize that your previous visualization of this experience has been off the mark. You have seen yourself as a loose, free body, and you've imagined yourself in the belly-down, limbs-out position (good: you remembered the molecules). But, pray tell, who unstrapped your seat belt? You could very well be riding your seat (or it could be riding you; if so, straighten up and fly right!); you might still be connected to an entire row of seats or to a row and some of the attached cabin structure.

If thus connected, you have some questions to address. Is your new conveyance air-worthy? If your entire row is intact and the seats are occupied, is the passenger next to you now going to feel free to break the code of silence your body language enjoined upon him at takeoff? If you choose to go it alone, simply unclasp your seat belt and drift free. Resist the common impulse to use the wreckage fragment as a "jumping-off point" to reduce your plunge-rate, not because you will thereby worsen the chances of those you leave behind (who are they kidding? they're goners!), but just because the effect of your puny jump is so small compared with the alarming Newtonian forces at work.

Just how fast are you going? Imagine standing atop a train going 120 mph, and the train goes through a tunnel but you do not. You hit the wall above the opening at 120 mph. That's how fast you will be going at the end of your fall. Yes, it's discouraging, but proper planning requires that you know the facts. You're used to seeing things fall more slowly. You're used to a jump from a swing or a jungle gym, or a fall from a three-story building on TV action news. Those folks are not going 120 mph. They will not bounce. You will bounce. Your body will be found some distance away from the dent you make in the soil (or crack in the concrete). Make no mistake: you will be motoring.

At this point you will think: trees. It's a reasonable thought. The concept of "breaking the fall" is powerful, as is the hopeful message implicit in the nursery song "Rock-a-bye, Baby," which one must assume from the affect of the average singer tells the story not of a baby's death but of its survival. You will want a tall tree with an excurrent growth pattern—a single, undivided trunk with lateral branches, delicate on top and thicker as you cascade downward. A conifer is best. The redwood is attractive for the way it rises to shorten your fall, but a word of caution here: the redwood's lowest branches grow dangerously high from the ground; having gone 35,000 feet, you don't want the last 50 feet to ruin everything. The perfectly tiered Norfolk Island pine is a natural safety net, so if you're near New Zealand, you're in luck, pilgrim. When crunch time comes, elongate your body and hit the tree limbs at a perfectly flat angle as close to the trunk as possible. Think!

Snow is good—soft, deep, drifted snow. Snow is lovely. Remember that you are the pilot and your body is the aircraft. By tilting forward and putting your hands at your side, you can modify your pitch and make progress not just vertically but horizontally as well. As you go down 15,000 feet, you can also go sideways two-thirds of that distance—that's two miles! Choose your landing zone. You be the boss.

If your search discloses no trees or snow, the parachutist's "five-point landing" is useful to remember even in the absence of a parachute. Meet the ground with your feet together, and fall sideways in such a way that five parts of your body successively absorb the shock, equally and in this order: feet, calf, thigh, buttock, and shoulder. 120 divided by 5 = 24. Not bad! 24 mph is only a bit faster than the speed at which experienced parachutists land. There will be some bruising and breakage but no loss of consciousness to delay your press conference. Just be sure to apportion the 120-mph blow in equal fifths. Concentrate!

Much will depend on your attitude. Don't let negative thinking ruin your descent. If you find yourself dwelling morbidly on your discouraging starting point of seven miles up, think of this: Thirty feet is the cutoff for fatality in a fall. That is, most who fall from thirty feet or higher die. Thirty feet! It's nothing! Pity the poor sod who falls from such a "height." What kind of planning time does he have?

Think of the pluses in your situation. For example, although you fall faster and faster for the first fifteen seconds or so, you soon reach "terminal velocity"—the point at which atmospheric drag resists gravity's acceleration in a perfect standoff. Not only do you stop speeding up, but because the air is thickening as you fall, you actually begin to slow down. With every foot that you drop, you are going slower and slower.

There's more. When parachutists focus on a landing zone, sometimes they become so fascinated with it that they forget to pull the ripcord. Since you probably have no ripcord, "target fixation" poses no danger. Count your blessings.

Think of others who have gone before you. Think of Vesna Vulovic, a flight attendant who in 1972 fell 33,000 feet in the tail of an exploded DC-9 jetliner; she landed in snow and lived. Vesna knew about molecules.

Think of Joe Hermann of the Royal Australian Air Force, blown out of his bomber in 1944 without a parachute. He found himself falling through the night sky amid airplane debris and wildly grabbed a piece of it. It turned out to be not debris at all, but rather a fellow flyer in the process of pulling his ripcord. Joe hung on and, as a courtesy, hit the ground first, breaking the fall of his savior and a mere two ribs of his own. Joe was not a quitter. Don't you be.

Think of Nick Alkemade, an RAF tailgunner who jumped from his flaming turret without a parachute and fell 18,000 feet. When he came to and saw stars overhead, he lit a cigarette. He would later describe the fall as "a pleasant experience." Nick's trick: fir trees, underbrush, and snow.

But in one important regard, Nick is a disappointment. He gave up. As he plummeted to Germany, he concluded he was going to die and felt "a strange peace." This is exactly the wrong kind of thinking. It will get you nowhere but dead fast. You cannot give up and plan aggressively at the same time.

To conclude, here are some words that might help you avoid such a collapse of resolve on your way down.

"Keep a-goin'." (Frank L. Stanton) "Failure is not an option." (Ed Harris, as the guy in Apollo 13 who says, "Failure is not an option") "'Hope' is the thing with feathers That perches in the soul And sings the tune without the words And never stops-at all." (Emily Dickinson)

http://www.greenharbor.com/fffolder/carkeet.html

Daniel Tammet

Flight Of The Conchords

Where The Wild Things Are - Early Disney CG Animation Test

my shit stay kickin' so I'm callin' it kung-fu

Black Uhuru - Great Train Robbery

Black Uhuru - Solidarity

Jamie T - If You Got The Money

Jamie T - Salvador

Blues for Greasy Young

1944

Reg Kehoe and his Marimba Queens

Early 1940's

Ink Spots - Do I Worry?

1942

Kent Hovind

10 years in prison, idiot.

no way we can survive...

An audio recording made on November 18, 1978, at the Peoples Temple compound in Jonestown, Guyana immediately preceding and during the mass suicide or murder of over 900 members of the cult.

http://www.archive.org/details/ptc1978-11-18.flac16

Patti Smith - Gloria

Rock Plaza Central

stickin' it to the man

A 17-year-old US student who enjoys re-enacting medieval battles has been banned from wielding his favourite sword in his graduation yearbook.

Portsmouth High School in the US state of Rhode Island has asked Patrick Agin to submit a new photo after he first posed in full chainmail and armour.

The school rejected the photo, saying it contravened a strict zero-tolerance policy on weapons.

In response, the Agin family is suing the school for restricting free speech.

Patrick Agin picked up the medieval battle habit from his mother, Heidi Farrington, who makes and sells period clothing.

Civil liberties

The student's interest in the battles of a bygone era has grown along with his knowledge of the textile techniques of the middle ages.

As well as regular bouts of sword-fighting and medieval feasting, Patrick and thousands of others across the US stage learn oft-forgotten arts and crafts and stage large-scale re-enactments of major historical events.

Tamara Griggs, of the 35,000-member Society for Creative Anachronism, said the student's decision to pose in full costume was perfectly understandable.

"It's no different from wanting to appear in a Boy Scout uniform," she said.

But the principal of Portsmouth High School, Robert Littlefield, said the flagrant wielding of a potentially lethal weapon was a clear violation of school regulations.

"I don't see our action as discouraging anyone's hobby," he said.

But he added: "I don't see our yearbook as a vehicle where we guarantee everyone an opportunity to broadcast their hobby to our audience."

Legal organisation the American Civil Liberties Union has taken up Patrick's case, filing a lawsuit in a federal court in December, the Associated Press reports.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/6260235.stm

Elephant Seal

vodka

Парни поспорили, что выпьют бутылку водки залпом. Последствия не очень

Stella - Cat

Stella - Pizza

Jimi the Shrew

Troop of the 100

Portland Drivers in the Snow

Gummi Bears

Alex Mack

readymech = fucking awesome

Readymechs are free, flatpack toys for you to print and build. They are designed to fit on an 8.5"x11" page and printed with any printer. You'll need double-sided tape, thick matte paper, and 10-15 minutes for build time.

http://www.readymech.com/

turkytunaguacamole

A charter school alerted authorities to a 29-year-old sex offender who tried to enroll there, pretending he was just 12, in what sheriff's officials said Friday may have been an attempt to lure children into sexual abuse.

The Yavapai County sheriff's office also said Neil Havens Rodreick II conned two men he was living with and having sex with into believing he was a young boy. One of them, 61-year-old Lonnie Stiffler, called himself Rodreick's grandfather when he tried to enroll him at Mingus Springs Charter School as "Casey Price."

"This is the weirdest case I've seen in 18 years," sheriff's spokeswoman Susan Quayle said. "If it wasn't so sad it would be funny."

A total of four men were in custody in the case Friday on various charges, including fraud, forgery, identity theft, and failure to register as a sex offender.

Officials at the charter school in Chino Valley, about 90 miles northwest of Phoenix, told deputies that papers the "grandfather" presented appeared to be fake and that "boy" looked much older than 12.

Stiffler and Robert James Snow, 43, "were very upset when the detectives told them they had been having a sexual relationship with a 29-year-old man and not a pre-teen boy," Quayle said.

Detectives have evidence that Stiffler and Snow enrolled Rodreick in other Arizona schools, and have notified law enforcement in those jurisdictions, Quayle said.

It was unclear whether Rodreick had actually attended any schools, but Quayle said, "I think what we're looking at is that he's being used to troll for other kids."

She said detectives learned in interviews with the men that Rodreick convinced Stiffler and Snow that he was a boy after meeting him two years ago over the Internet. Rodreick apparently shaved his body hair and used makeup to keep up the guise.

Deputies who served a search warrant at a Chino Valley home Thursday found Stiffler, Snow, Rodreick and Brian J. Nellis, 34. Quayle said Nellis was apparently Rodreick's cell mate in an Oklahoma prison, where both served time for sex offenses.

Stiffler was booked on counts of forgery and hindering prosecution and was being held on $100,000 bond. Each of the three others was being held on $50,000 bond on a charge of failing to register as a sex offender. Prosecutors said decisions on any additional charges would be made by Monday.

All four men made initial court appearances Thursday and were assigned public defenders. County Public Defender Janet Lincoln said her office had not seen any reports or met with the men by Friday afternoon and would have no comment.

From the Associated Press

Blazing Saddles

Blazing Saddles

Young Frankenstein

NBC News Overnight - Beyond the Blue Horizon

Jamie T - Sheila

hospital

Kumar In The Forest

Marijuana Kills

Chance 2

Try Football

Creepy Orville Redenbacher Commercial

ITV - Thames Continuity 1981

Mr. Yuk Commercial

They Might Be Giants - Dr. Worm

Salute Your Shorts

weinerville

Fat Nerd Sues Cute Brunette over Sexy Calendar Photos

Abbot and Costello - Who's on First

Skitzo on Judge Judy

go see it

vomit sauce

Artist Serves Friends Meatballs Cooked in His Own Liposuctioned Body Fat

SANTIAGO, Chile - "Bon appetit," said Chilean artist Marco Evaristti as he presented his friends with his newest creation: meatballs cooked with fat from his own body, extracted by liposuction.

"Ladies and gentleman, bon appetit and may god bless," said Evaristti, a glass in his hand, to his dining companions seated last Thursday night around a table in Santiago's Animal Gallery.

On the plates in front of them was a serving of agnolotti pasta and in the middle a meatball made with oil Evaristti removed from his body in a liposuction procedure last year.

"The question of whether or not to eat human flesh is more important than the result," he said, explaining the point of his creation.

"You are not a cannibal if you eat art," he added.

Evaristti produced 48 meatballs with his own fat, some of which would be canned and sold for $US4000 dollars for 10.

A veteran at shock-art, in an earlier work Evaristti invited people to kill fish by pressing the button on a blender the fish were held in.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,244251,00.html

roads

James Randi exposes James Hydrick

Elvis Costello - Radio Radio (SNL)

1963 McDonalds Commercial

Spiders On Drugs

The Creed Mixtape

Midget Fight On Springer

Action League Now! - Danger Society

Impossible is the Opposite of Possible

Turkish Star Wars

Poker

Canadian Domestic Violence PSA #2

"Pink" by Charlie White

Paula Abdul on Crack

Richard Simmons Guest Appearance

fatty fatty fatty

Meet Hercules. He’s a 20.2 pound tabby from Oregon. This cat was captured by the Human Society in Oregon when his fat ass got caught in a doggy door. Hercules was trying to sneak into a home to steal some food when his ass couldn’t fit through the hole!

The owner of the home was shocked to find him and found it quite funny. She said, “It was hilarious to see this big cat struggling to get in. I helped him out of the door and gave him a plate of food on the patio.”

http://www.nbc4.com/news/10724960/detail.html

Il fait beau dans l'métro

Windows 386 Promo Video

Microsoft sent this tape to retailers to explain the benefits of Windows 386. Boring until the 7 minute mark when the production is taken over by crack-smoking monkeys.

mri sex

Kim Carnes - Draw Of The Cards

Technologic

Quasimoto - Come on Feet

The Prime Time of Your Life

Jamie T - Calm Down Dearest

Talking Heads - Once in a Lifetime

Banned Cartoons - 1943

Kellogg's Corn Flakes 1990

sunshine in my mouth

I SORT GLASS

Klaus Kinski Interview (1985)

Mr. T's Lesson Learning Hour - Episode 1

Safe Driving PSA

Ferrofluid

The Atomic Cannon

FLIP (Floating Instrument Platform)

great white shark

Soror YZBL explains it to you

THIZZ DANCE

Porn Sound Engineering

no bricks in melbourne

1990

Jerry Jackson- Wars

Voldo Dance 2

High Voltage Power Arc

Science Report: Alternative 3

Science Report was a weekly science show created by Anglia Television in the 1970's.

karma

BEIJING -- A 17-year-old boy in northeastern China was so disappointed with the looks of a woman he met over the Internet that he hanged himself after seeing her face-to-face, state media reported Friday.

The unnamed teenager first contacted the woman -- known by her chat moniker "Qunjiaofeiyang", or "Flying Skirt" -- using the popular Chinese online messaging software QQ, Xinhua news agency said.

The girl described herself as a beautiful 19-year-old and the pair chatted on the Web for weeks before arranging a December 26 rendezvous in the nearby city of Mudanjiang, in far northeastern Heilongjiang province.

The boy arrived to discover the woman far less attractive than advertised and 10 years older than him, Xinhua said.

The boy immediately returned home, lost his appetite, and four days later hanged himself from a tree.

http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/breakingnews/infotech/view_article.php?article_id=41820

Max Headroom Hijacks Chicago

The film which you are about to see is an account of the tragedy which befell a Chicago Television network, in particular WTTW and it's broadcast program, Doctor Who. It is all the more tragic in that the episode had just started. But, had it been a very, very long episode, the viewers could not have expected nor would they have wished to see as much of the mad and macabre as they were to see that day. For them an idyllic staple of nerd programming became a nightmare. The events of that day were to lead to the discovery of one of the most bizarre crimes in the annals of American history, The Max Headroom Pirating Incedent.

consejos chimo bayo

Gay Robot - Pilot Clip 7

"you look like a stonewashed stallion."

Music House

north american scum!

Multan - A young boy who tried to copy hanging scenes from the execution video of Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein died in central Pakistan, said police on Monday.

Mubashar Ali, 9, hanged himself, while re-enacting Hussein's hanging with the help of elder sister, 10, after tying a rope to a ceiling fan and his neck in his home in Rahim Yar Khan district on Sunday, said a local police official.

The father of the deceased boy said that his children had been watching the video of Saddam Hussein's execution on television and attempted to imitate the hanging as other family members thought they were playing in another room.

"My wife and sister rushed to rescue Mubashar when children cried for help from the adjoining room, but he died due to hanging," said Alamgir Paracha, father of Mubashar.

Police said that the death was accidental and a case of parental negligence.

"It was an accident which happened due to carelessness of parents," said district police chief Sultan Ahmad.

Images of the fallen Iraqi dictator with a strap around his neck, surrounded by executioners in balaclavas, were repeatedly telecast by Pakistani television channels at the weekend.

Commentators and the media across Europe had expressed shock and unease on Sunday at graphic television pictures showing the last moments of Hussein just before his execution.

http://www.news24.com/News24/World/News/0,9294,2-10-1462_2050341,00.html

this crazy parrot

The finding of a parrot with an almost unparalleled power to communicate with people has brought scientists up short.

The bird, a captive African grey called N'kisi, has a vocabulary of 950 words, and shows signs of a sense of humour. He invents his own words and phrases if he is confronted with novel ideas with which his existing repertoire cannot cope - just as a human child would do. N'kisi's remarkable abilities feature in the latest BBC Wildlife Magazine. N'kisi is believed to be one of the most advanced users of human language in the animal world. About 100 words are needed for half of all reading in English, so if N'kisi could read he would be able to cope with a wide range of material.

He uses words in context, with past, present and future tenses, and is often inventive. One N'kisi-ism was "flied" for "flew", and another "pretty smell medicine" to describe the aromatherapy oils used by his owner, an artist based in New York.

When he first met Dr Jane Goodall, the renowned chimpanzee expert, after seeing her in a picture with apes, N'kisi said: "Got a chimp?" He appears to fancy himself as a humourist. When another parrot hung upside down from its perch, he commented: "You got to put this bird on the camera."

Dr Goodall says N'kisi's verbal fireworks are an "outstanding example of interspecies communication".

In an experiment, the bird and his owner were put in separate rooms and filmed as the artist opened random envelopes containing picture cards. Analysis showed the parrot had used appropriate keywords three times more often than would be likely by chance.

This was despite the researchers discounting responses like "What ya doing on the phone?" when N'kisi saw a card of a man with a telephone, and "Can I give you a hug?" with one of a couple embracing.

Professor Donald Broom, of the University of Cambridge's School of Veterinary Medicine, said: "The more we look at the cognitive abilities of animals, the more advanced they appear, and the biggest leap of all has been with parrots."

Alison Hales, of the World Parrot Trust, told BBC News Online: "N'kisi's amazing vocabulary and sense of humour should make everyone who has a pet parrot consider whether they are meeting its needs. "They may not be able to ask directly, but parrots are long-lived, and a bit of research now could mean an improved quality of life for years."

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/3430481.stm