wild days and nights of a young hood
Does it take practice to be honest with yourself? Does it take time to repair something that continually breaks down? If I am aware of my own thoughts and feelings, why do they seem far away? Where's the break between reality and imagination? If the only reality we can know is what is put right in front of us, then everything that is imaginable is not imagination, but reality. Cold, hard fact. If what I see through my eyes is consciousness, then when I look away, it doesn't exist in the way I think it does. Things solidify when you bring them into your own realm of consciousness, meaning that anything else is just a buffer. When you bring things out of the constant blur, they materialize. Things happen. Waves crash. Planes crash. Birds chirp. People die and are reborn right before our very eyes, multiple times a day.
Play it cool, Sam, play it real cool.
Everything happens for a reason, and things work themselves out in the end, right?
Why do some things make total sense and other things seem totally foreign? Do we really have brain power? Am I limited by the strength of my thoughts and my consciousness? No one wants to think like that. I don't want to be a cog in some huge machine, but I don't want to be a random occurrence, totally unique and singular. I don't want to be explained vis a vis scientific blather; I don't want to be described as a complex organism made up of tiny cells that don't think, just do. I feel hopelessly programmed and out of tune. Am I just one iota of anything relatively important in this big sandbox? I don't want to be.
If we are totally independent from one another, why are there so many of us? If there is truly nothing holding us all together, then what's the point of doing anything for personal moral integrity? Beyond that, why did we even need to invent moral integrity? I feel desperately disconnected.
Never, my love, never.
I don't know and I guess that I just don't know.
I have made a big decision.
I bought this incredible compilation of the 200 best songs from the 1960's. It's got a lot of classics and then some.
I wish I was born 1000 years ago.
Play it cool, Sam, play it real cool.
Everything happens for a reason, and things work themselves out in the end, right?
Why do some things make total sense and other things seem totally foreign? Do we really have brain power? Am I limited by the strength of my thoughts and my consciousness? No one wants to think like that. I don't want to be a cog in some huge machine, but I don't want to be a random occurrence, totally unique and singular. I don't want to be explained vis a vis scientific blather; I don't want to be described as a complex organism made up of tiny cells that don't think, just do. I feel hopelessly programmed and out of tune. Am I just one iota of anything relatively important in this big sandbox? I don't want to be.
If we are totally independent from one another, why are there so many of us? If there is truly nothing holding us all together, then what's the point of doing anything for personal moral integrity? Beyond that, why did we even need to invent moral integrity? I feel desperately disconnected.
Never, my love, never.
I don't know and I guess that I just don't know.
I have made a big decision.
I bought this incredible compilation of the 200 best songs from the 1960's. It's got a lot of classics and then some.
I wish I was born 1000 years ago.
posted by samuel at 5:26 PM
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