I have to remember to pay the corner stand guy the 25 cents I owe him or else I'll never be able to get good coffee again. I like that the bagels are only a dollar, and that he toasts them on the grill, I think it makes them taste better. The coffee is too hot when you get it so you have to take the top off to let it cool but there's always the chance that it will spill which is the worst thing ever. I'm using the most bootleg mexican 1980s notebook its pretty radical. It has nice paper but it's embarassing to use in public. The weird black guy who lives in the house next to mine asked me yesterday whether or not I was sure about becoming a teacher. I told him that I was, of course, but the truth of it is that I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.

I think Easy Rider is showing tonight at the LES Two Boots, and I want to go but no one is around to go with me, which is kind of frustrating. I would go alone, but I'd like to go drinking afterwards, and that's only fun with Anders.

My father was walking around in circles yesterday talking to himself, saying, "I don't think I can do this anymore..." and then crying. This shit fucking kills me. I have this picture burned into my head of him crying and it just makes me want to fucking die.