clean, crisp, wonderful

The satin jazzmen have put away their horns and we're standing outside of this wonderland looking so bereaved and so bereft. Like a bowery burn when he finally understands the bottle's empty and there's nothing left. Security were laid back and lax. It was only my heart that got broken you must have had a pass key made out of wax you played robbery with innocence and I played the blues in twelve bars down Lover's Lane.

now the sun rose in the courtyard and they all did hear him say,

"you always was a Judas but I got you anyway."

a lovestruck Romeo sings a serenade
laying everybody low, he's got a love song
he'll find the convenient street light
he steps out of the shade and says something,

"You and me babe, how about it?"

Juliet says,

"Hey, it's Romeo."

but no, now you say you promised me everything
promised me thick and thin, you just turn away now.

Romeo?

"I think I used to have a scene with him."

when are you going to realize that it was just that the time was wrong, Juliet.

so I'm going down this street and I'm trying not to smile. Because the street where I'm going, and the curb is at the side by the sewer where the rain goes down.

like this girl I once knew.

I got a real indication of a laugh coming on. That old wind is howling like a cold steel train, girl has left me, not coming back again. Got rusted bullet holes in the Dodge, and heartburn like solar flares, and a horsefly buzzes.

by the big mistake in the distance. I see myself smiling.
until he came chanting down the street
like a cannibal in Manhattan

"This place is dead as a heaven on a Saturday night."

in a noisy bar in Babylon I tried to call you
but on a midnight watch I realized twice that you had run away
I was on the road to Austin
met a man on the highway
he sold me junk and conversation
he was wise and dirty

I said, "darkness into darkness all the carnage of my journeys makes it harder to be living."

she said, "its a long road to be forgiven."

ugly people don't fall in love

Used with care, substances that harm neural tissue, such as alcohol, can aid intelligence: you corrode the chromium, giggly, crossword puzzle - solving parts of your mind with pain and poison, forcing the neurons to take responsibility for themselves and those around them, toughening themselves against the accelrated wear of these artificial solvents. After a night of poison, your brain wakes up in the morning saying, "No, I don't give a shit who introduced the sweet patato into North America." The damage that you have inflicted heats over, and the scarred places left behind have unusual surgace areas, roughnesses enough to become the nodes around which widoms weaves its fibrils.

Soaring Eagles? More like boring seagulls, am I right?

The American bald eagle has been inching its way off the endangered species list for several years, and now the bird might finally make it. This is great news for the eagle. It is equally great news for the 1973 Endangered Species Act, which has been under legislative assault in Congress.

According to Interior Department officials, there are only a few small regulatory hurdles to go before the eagle officially comes off the list. The bird's progress has been remarkable. In 1963, there were only 413 verifiable breeding pairs in the continental United States. Today there are 7,066, enough to justify delisting. The banning of the pesticide DDT in 1972 was enormously helpful. But so were the habitat protections provided by the act.

Last fall, the House of Representatives approved a dreadful bill, sponsored by Richard Pombo of California, that would weaken the act and be especially harmful to the provisions protecting habitat. The House somehow fell for the specious argument that the law was a failure because less than 1 percent of the more than 1,200 species listed as endangered or threatened had recovered to the point where they could be removed from the list.

But as the bald eagle demonstrates, recovery from near-extinction does not happen quickly. Most of the species on the list have been there a short time, 15.5 years on average. A much better measure of the law's effectiveness is the fact that more than two-thirds of the listed plants and animals whose condition is known are stable or improving.

We hope the Pombo bill dies for lack of interest in the Senate. Although the Endangered Species Act could profit from clarification and measured reform, the recovery of the bald eagle is testimony to its fundamental merit.

-From The New York Times Op-Ed

I feel like a fool.
All those years of Sunday school, and still the apocalypse catches me off guard.

The cradle rocks above an abyss, and common sense tells us that our existence is but a brief crack of light between two eternities of darkness. Although the two are identical twins, man as a rule, views the prenatal abyss with more calm than the one he is heading for (at some forty-five hundred heartbeats an hour). I know, however, of a young chronophobiac who experienced something like panic when looking for the first time at homemade movies that had been takena few weeks before his birth. He saw a world that was pratically unchanged- the same house, the same people - and then realized that he did not exist there at all and that nobody mourned his absence.

you dont have to be in contact very long
to realize something is very wrong

Kelly Osbourne has lashed out at Paris Hilton claiming that she is a bad influence on her fans, according to a published report. She claims that little girls try to be like Paris so they wear skimpy clothes and high heels. She gripes:

Me and mum (Sharon Osbourne) went to an awards show recently. There was a little girl there and mum said, 'How old are you?' and she said, 'I'm 11'. And she had on a miniskirt, a tank top that barely covered her chest, 4in heels and long, bleached-blonde hair - like Paris Hilton ... Paris doesn't hold up a sign saying, 'Everybody dress like me', but she is a bad influence. It's up to the parents to stop their child dressing like a hooker."


Man, you're an idiot. I know you and your mother were too busy judging strangers to notice, so you probably missed that other eleven year old saying "fuck" and "shit" every third word because she sat through your asinine "reality" show. Your parents did a great job with you, so you should serve as the shining example for impressionable girls everywhere, right? I would beat you with a shovel on general principle if I wasn't already pissed that you made me defend Paris Hilton. Of course she is a diseased skank with a lazy eye, but for some reason that sounds more appealing than a goth Cabbage Patch Kid you dumb whore.

entering life sequence V

homeless, cardboard cribs, cops shoot civilians, vendors, rap stars, Wall Street, billions, donald trump, shotgun pumps, illegal store fronts, $1.50 Dutches, AF Ones and Dunks, skycrapes the planes hit em, army in the subway, high risk, orange alert, everyday!



Some people think about marriage all the time. From when they are born to when they finally decide to settle down. The alarming thing about marriage in the Untied States is that the divorce rate is at 50%. And to add insult to injury, the marriage rate is dwindling at the same time. More and more people are realizing that marriage is not today what it was in, say, the day of our parents or their parents. Back before marriage was invented, people formed primitive groups to protect one another from a rival group or the weather, or for hunting and gathering resources. These were means to survive, they were not superficially based on finances or style or even love. Today, so many issues are factored in when contemplating marriage. It's confusing, and of course, there are standards and beliefs and friends and family to consider.

Most people end up asking themselves, why bother?

Both Mark Twain and Arthur Conan Doyle supposedly sent similar telegrams to a dozen prominent men, all of whom packed up and left town immediately.

FLEE AT ONCE — ALL IS DISCOVERED.

snow!

This morning I woke up at 7 after going to bed at 4, and I looked at the ceiling of the room I was in, and only heard birds chirping outside. I noticed that there were a few different chirps echoing in the room, and closed my eyes to fall back asleep. What I heard was not chirps, it was little space ships firing mini-lasers and mini-rockets at one another. A war between birds.

I've never been to Alaska, but I can tell you this, I've been to Lincoln, Nebraska and hell, you know it ain't worth shit, I've been through Nova Scotia, Sydney to Halifax, I'll never take any pictures cause I know I'll just be right back.

[cue violins, roll credits]

AWESOME

http://onastick.net/drew/sinistar/sin_hunger.wav

http://onastick.net/drew/sinistar/sin_beware.wav

http://onastick.net/drew/sinistar/runcoward.wav

who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?

Is it possible to believe in something so strongly that you instinctually use violence at any sign of disagreement? The current situation regarding the Dutch cartoon depicting the Prophet Muhammad (which, honestly, made NO sense) and the utter madness and chaos brought on by angry Muslims all over the world, is total insanity.

Give me a fucking break.

People have been making fun of Christians, Jews, Indians, etc. for years and you don't see a bunch of Catholics burning down embassies whenever someone speaks up or disapproves. This is an obvious statement of how far behind and how arrogant SOME people in the Muslim world can be. Let's make this perfectly clear: I am not passing judgment on ALL Muslims, but simply the ones who can't take a joke. Political cartoons have been around for decades and are created to inspire conversation and motivate thought or change, they have no hidden agenda or secret hatred of Muslims, it was only a comic.

This whole thing is evidence of why the world, in general, views the Muslim community as so barbaric. When people are rioting in the streets of, not just one, but many countries; when people have actually gotten killed because of something so benign as a cartoon (it wasn't even funny) people are going to make quick generalizations and that's exactly how resentment is bred. On both sides of the track people are pissed off, and what's worse is that the whole thing is so ridiculous that, if you look right below the surface it just seems as if the Muslim world will do anything just to cause a fight, simply because that's all they've ever known how to do. These people don't understand the idea of freedoms or rights, they were brought up in worlds completely different from that of the US or Britain.

This is something we as Americans will never fully understand and, with that said, my point in all of this: our true goal as a country should be to help the world as much as possible, in every way possible, while continually providing services for the needs of the citizens, but our helping the rest of the world, or countries where terror runs rampant, relies on us understanding them first. The Muslims believe in something that they truly think is the correct way to live, which is perfectly wonderful and should be something to celebrate, and they, as a people, obviously do not think themselves crazy, and that's where Americans and the rest of the world come in. We must first educate the population of the world on the Muslim religion, which will spur talks for years to come, on the political and social level. Fear of that which is different is human nature and the only way to get past it is to have understanding and compassion for your fellow man.

You know what?

Nevermind, bomb 'em all to hell.

I'm guilty and depressed

v.

I'm having the thought that I'm guilty and depressed

contextualpsychology.org

Hourly Wages around the World, Courtesy of the National Labor Committee

United States - $8.42
Bangladesh - 1¢
Burma - 4¢
China - 23¢ (Living wage: 87¢ an hour)
Colombia - 70-80¢
Dominican Republic - 69¢
El Salvador - 59¢ (Living wage: $1.18 an hour)
Guatemala - 37-50¢
Haiti - 30¢ (Living wage: 58¢ an hour)
Honduras - 43¢ (Living wage: 79¢ an hour)
India - 20-30¢
Indonesia - 10¢
Malaysia - $1.00¢
Mexico - 50-54¢
Nicaragua - 23¢ (Living wage: 80¢ an hour)
Pakistan - 20-26¢
Peru - 90¢
Philippines - 58-76¢
Romania - 24¢
Sri Lanka - 40¢
Thailand - 78¢

forgive them Lord, they know not what they do

"Hey dude, listen, I'm not trying to be an asshole, I mean...I wasn't trying to be a dick..."

You know, an apology is worthless if it's insincere. I mean think about it, seriously. If someone fucks up and then apologizes, but the words or expressions they use are obviously not truthful, they are not apologizing, they're adding insult to injury by not taking responsibility for their actions. It hurts to know that people can do this all the time and therefore never have to deal with a single confrontation, because they honestly believe, somewhere deep inside their little conniving brains that they are righteous. Beyond this is some rambling-dime-store-psych-101 bull shit, but on the surface it comes across as fucking retarded, and it surprises me to learn that almost no one else gets it. People have become so disconnected from each other, we can't discern smiles from frowns or lies from truths. Facial and body language reading and recognition used to a be a science, now it's a skill because people don't look each other in the eyes anymore. People stopped caring if someone else was telling the truth because it's easier to just sit back and let the static flow over our brains like waves. It's easier to not ask questions. It's easier to let things slide. If you ask me, it's a fucking cop out to just lay here and take it like a prisoner.

I know I'm not alone on this one, but I hate being told what to do, by anyone, let alone people who I don't trust or agree with. Sometimes I wish I was born to some family in the middle of Kansas, where I would have been brought up Christian and chivalrous, where moral values would take the place of any problems that I would ever encounter, where normalcy is as common as grass, and where I could just fade away like the rest of them. If I could wake up and not worry about anything but my farm and my family, it would be serene. If I never left my property because there would be no need to, it would be so easy. Everything laid out on the table for all to see, no hidden agendas or questions or mysteries of life, everything just the way it should be, for all time. Sometimes I wish I had been born thousands of years ago, where the only thing to do was survive. There are too many variables in this day and age; too many nails that were never hammered in far enough, so every time you walk past they catch on your sweater and eventually those little holes grow bigger, until one day the entire sweater is in pieces, and there's no amount or type of string that could ever stitch it back up.

I have been led astray from the path that I chose to take. The problem is not that I am lost, but that the guide who assured me of the safety of the path is an autistic drunkard who has the attention span of a goldfish. I have been lied to and deconstructed so that I may be recreated in the image of my maker. Promises have been made, platforms have been erected, effigies built, slogans coined, songs have been written, rumors have been circulated, autographs faked, moving boxes have been worn out, mantlepieces dusted, idols idolized, the sands have been shifted, curtains have been closed, sleepers all are waked, now the hourglass is smashed and it didn't leave me an escape.

I HUNGER

I wake up to a caffeine, cigarette vaccine
and bathe in water I wouldn't drink before gasoline
I feel like a loser because I'm not in Fallujah
painting a land-cruiser with an Iraqi then taking his Ruger
I'm in a deli eating Tuna to chase the mercury
I wash it down with a $2 bottle of water
then I get on the subway and I'm only thinking of terrorists with box cutters
maybe I'm crazy, but I will not just follow the herd
unless, of course, it's a group to lynch Mike Bloomberg
we get hit by the gas pumps
and all the Saudi citizens are just like, "FUCK YOU!"
if the opposite of PRO is a CON
then look beyond this
the opposite of CONGRESS must be PROGRESS
two F-16's pierce the iridescent sky
we look down and we're not in Iraq, we're in NY
rats in the streets
we move underground like earthworms
too close
we couldn't even abort Satan in his first term
the army in the subways walking with tools
I'm on the train with the back of the dollar bill still talking to me
you've seen the news, no joke
the New York Pig Department will blast you
little Jimmy from Jackson
just graduated from Mississippi, right into the action
face up in the bed, almost dead
an IV bag and no legs
a few sandwiches and a bunch of bloody bandages,
he got the word that his unit didn't make it
shit, it's a free ticket home
too bad he flat lined before he got to take it

if only for a moment

I would do anything to
tell you why I've been late to
fix up my head
and escape to
where I can rest my eyes

Because she doesn't really know if she wants to ride or drive.

I've got this friend, right?
Now, he's got this friend who just got a new apartment, with a really cute roomie. At first he didn't think she was so cute, and he also didn't think he had a chance, but it turns out she thinks he's pretty cute as well, so maybe there's a chance something could come of it.

What an awkward situation.

You know the model-type who never becomes a model?
By the time she wake up, and smear on her make up, she's dressed to kill, no heart behind that A-cup. My head down, looking through a do-or-die world, of course I'd get hooked on this Suicide Girl.

Key Largo
Mental Illness

Her talk is slick
her walk is vanilla sundae
clothes smelled of gucci
with a little hint of thrift store
see if you can find her
queen of the diner
she loved drama so much
she used it as a moniker
dudes trying to bang her, pretending to be photographers
but to her credit, she ain't listen to any Pac
hipster, lover, underground rappers and indie rock

Meanwhile, In Wonderland...

What is it with NYC these days? Is it just me or are the streets crowded as SHIT wherever you go? All of the sudden, while standing on the corner of 15th street and 5th avenue there's a fucking traffic jam of people; a mish-mash of scaffolding bars, a woman in a wheelchair, me, and about 6 other hapless civilians. With a few muffled apologies we were all soon on our way, nonetheless frazzled, at the complete ridiculousness of not being able to walk on the streets of New York without fucking something up.

I'm moving to Montana.

convi(nce)ct

You know what kind of man I think you are? You're the kind of man who would stand there and smile at his torturers while they were tearing out his guts--if only he could find faith or a god.

Dostoyevsky says that a 'certain percentage' of the world's population must enter into vice so that the rest of the world may live in chaste, and ultimately be left alone. These few unfortunate souls must exist, otherwise we would all perish. The many who are alive are, in some way, survivors at all points in their lives. The few who die or are left dead are martyrs for society; they are not guilty of any crime or deserving of punishment, but simply are sacrifices, so that the rest of us may live on.

Progress is furthered and no one is the wiser.

black suit, white collar

If the Self is maintained by Conciousness, and Conciousness is governed primarily by Free Will, then the Self is more directly connected to Free Will then most people care to accept. While the everyday Joe won't question his being and will blindly accept his role as an individual entity in a giant system of cogs and wheels, I find that attempting to understand my true purpose has brought me closer to the rest of humanity, even though it is clearly self-involved.

Individualism is somewhat of a problem in everyday life. People are increasingly disconnected from one another because of it, so problems are brushed off as "not my job" and ideas are pushed aside because of a lack of interest. People in America do not question the rest of the world, for the most part because they simply do not think it effects them in any direct way. This is individualism at its worst.

What we do not understand is that everything IS connected and it is only through this 'controversial' idea that we will come closer, as humans, to understanding one another.

It's a stupid idea, and I'm wrong.

Hallelujah, Brother!

If a living human being has the right to be creative, and by chance is creative almost all of the time, sometimes even without the person expecting it. If a factory owned by BIC operates in France, creating lighters that are to be shipped all over, one of which I will eventually use to light fire anything I deem worthy, be it cigarette, blunt, or candle. This factory and it's machines, all are programmed and designed and engineered and work efficiently and without complication, most are high tech and require little, if any, continuous adjustment. These machines are not necessarily 'artificial intelligence' but do represent, in some way, a machine doing a certain job that almost 99% of the time, a human could do just as well. The issue is mainly related to budget concerns, as it is obviously cheaper to keep a machine running than to hire and continually pay a worker.

Yet, there is ALWAYS at least 1 person, watching, inspecting, or in some way involved in the machine's actions.

The main distinction between Homo sapiens and computers or animals, is the ability to create from nothing. To innovate and evolved, survive and invent, by simple necessity, is human nature. Technology is proof of how far we have come in only a century; imagine 100 years from now?

When we get there, if we do at all, and artificial intelligence, real robots who could perform complicated, instinctual, intricate actions and thoughts, is indeed created by scientists, what becomes of the self? What happens to consciousness? It happens to be similar to the plot of the popular novel I, Robot by Isaac Asimov, but it is nonetheless an interesting thought.

IN OTHER NEWS
1. State of the Union: How President Bush Managed to Address Nothing and Still Come in Under an Hour (Hey, At Least He's Not Wasting Our Time)

2. The New York Times Crossword Puzzle

3. Awkward moments courtesy of your friends and a drunk girl